No Limits

 "Love has no age, no limits and no death"

You can say what you want to say,

But I know love doesn't work that way

You can do what you want to do,

But I'll never forget what we went through.

You don't know everything, neither do I,

But I know that what you're saying is a lie,

You're never too young, you are never too old,

But there's one thing I believe 

I'll treat love like gold.

I don't know everything but I do know this,

Feelings have no rules and that's all love is.

Nobody's perfect, not you, not I,

But for you I love, I'd truly die.

Love is a feeling like your heart could matter,

I know I'm in love, so what you say doesn't matter.

I wrote this poem on a blank page,

Just to say that love has no age.

"If you have to think about whether you love someone or not then the answer is no. When you love someone you just know."

Home Too Soon

"Far away from home everything is so clear when you're all alone" 

Springville will always be my home. No matter where I am in this big world, I will always return to that small town. 

But there are trials for all of us. My biggest trial is escaping the life I use to live. The life before Christ.  Although I love everything about home, it presents a trial every time I return. Old Lexi starts to creep back, feeling the spirit is almost impossible, the claws of the adversary dig deeper into me and my anxiety is almost too much to handle. 

Being away I am becoming who I've always needed to be and the spirit is a constant companion. A friend who walks me to class, a shoulder to cry on and a reminder of the life to come. Although He may be my only friend at college, He is all I need.

Being away, I am a child learning to walk for the first time. My eyes see the light of the gospel for the first time. My young heart burns the desire to learn of Him. I must learn to walk again, learn to walk in the light of the Lord. It's a path I must go on alone with Christ by my side. 

Running away is not what I am doing. I am growing as a child of God. I am learning for myself. I am experiencing a world I thought I knew. I want to give Him all I have so that everything I say and do points to Him. Because with sacrifice comes great rewards.

And although those I hold dear are back home, I have to be strong and do this for Him. Because He has never left my side and even though my heart is torn, I will follow Him. 

Last night as I prayed, I knew in my heart I must stay away from home for longer periods of time. No more visiting every weekend. I have to limit myself to twice or even once a month. With following my heart, I know I should have attended BYU-Idaho. It's something I'm regretting with everything I have. But I guess a detour was what I had to take. 

Don't be sad, my help comes from the Lord. Please understand and be strong for me, for this is something I must do. I love you all. Everyone of you has touched my life in more ways than you can even imagine. Please remember its never a goodbye, its always a see you later.

Always Your Best Friend

"..Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" - Esther 4:14.

I woke up early this morning to the familiar smell of old men, rotten food and your occasional moth ball. As I walked into the kitchen, I realized my roommates were all still asleep. It's day like this I'm grateful I don't have to share a bedroom.

After taking a quick shower, I went for a walk while eating a granola bar as I wandered around campus until I finally found the library. Fighting the ever present loneliness, I talked to my dad on the phone. He always joked about how I would miss living at home, how I would miss him. I never took him seriously until now. 

It's true that you really don't realize what you have until it's gone. For the past few days, the loneliness I've felt has been so frightening. I've been incredibly lost for months now and have questioned every second of my decision to attend college. 

After my walk, I went back to my room. And just sat there. Because there isn't much to do at seven in the morning. But as I sat there drowning in my self pity, that small voice they teach you about in Sunday school started to get louder after months of almost being mute.

It was then when I became so grateful that I live close to a beautiful Temple. So I got dressed in my Sunday best, grabbed my scriptures, a notepad, my keys and I was out of that dorm room. With my phone turned off, I drove the few minutes to the Temple with a cheesy smile I couldn't fight.

The parking lot was empty for the most part besides two other cars. I walked up the little hill to the Temple entrance and smiled at the few ground keepers and thanked them for their amazing job. I can't imagine how much work goes into keeping the grounds of any Temple so beautiful. 

The only noise I could hear was that of the occasionally car or bird. While I walked around the outside, I couldn't help but be amazed at how beautiful it was and I still wasn't able to fight that cheesy smile. 

I chose a spot on a grassy tree covered hill, closed my eyes and started to pray. Thanking Him for every blessing and every trial I've ever received. Soon every worry disappeared. And for once in almost a year, I felt completely at peace.

It wasn't long until I knew my Best Friend was sitting right beside me, holding on tightly to my hand and wiping my tears away. I had been ignoring Him throughout the trial, I had never taken the time to actually confide in Him. But as I felt guilty for not trying harder, I knew in my heart that even though I hadn't taken the time away from my self pity to look for Him, He was watching over me the entire time.

I may not have any of my best friends here, but there is one friend that is always with me no matter what. He is my Best Friend in the entire world. I love Him with all my heart. And I thank Him every day for sending me the people who guided me to Him. I am forever grateful for the gospel. 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13

Blind

Love is blind or so it's said

as if the eyes had failed

to notice things that others see

Like faults to be assailed

Imperfections multiplied

until they do abound

problems then are magnified

'Til they compass us round

This is why Love must be blind

for who could stand and face

such a searing spotlight and

Still be loved one trace

This train of thought sounds logical

At least unto the head

but if true love comes from the heart

who by the head is led?

Love is blind? I disagree

I do not feel that way

Love sees each and every fault

And Love loves anyways

Three White Kids With An Inseparable Bond

"Friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly"

Senior Year. I wasn't expecting to make two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I was just praying I would be able to survive the senioritis that was bound to destroy me.

When we all talked for the first time during Student Council, I'll admit I thought you guys were weird. But when people meet together in mutual weirdness, something amazing happens. Best friends. 

I never imagined I would get my heart broken that year but I couldn't have asked for two better people to help me patch it back up. Some nights I'd lay awake and wonder if they knew how much they helped me on a day to day basis. They thought my testimony was strong but being a convert, I had never really had such an example of our Heavenly Father's love before. Some nights I still wonder if they know that even just their example helped me to gain the courage to get on my knees at night and pray to the Heavenly Father they seemed to know so well. 

Kambrie. You are absolutely adorable. I love you with all my heart. You deserve the most amazing guy in the world and I will make sure you get him. Hun, I hope you know how much of an example you are to me. Thank you for always being willing to go to the Temple and fast with me whenever I needed someone. And thank you for being one of the only people who seemed to understand my infatuation with boys. And I'm never going to leave your side best friend, even when Spencer goes on his mission, we will party and send him pictures of all our crazy adventures that are of course legal ;)

Spencer. Oh boy, you are a stud. I love you with all my heart. I know you are going to be the most amazing missionary there is because you were always there to remind me of Heavenly Father's love when my faith was so close to crumbling. Thank you for always having patience with me and Kambrie and our constant boy drama. And thank you for always being there to give me a hug when I cried. I hope you know how much you mean to me, because who else would party with me at Beto's at one in the morning. You better expect a bunch of letters from me on your mission, because I will write you once a week. Promise :)

Looking back on everything, I know that there was no way I could have survived my senior year alone. I needed Kambrie and Spencer. Who else would have listened to my problems and helped dry the tears from my eyes? They even took away the sorrow and put happiness in its place. 

So many memories have been made with those two crazy white kids. From constant trips to the Little Acorn and how Spencer and Kambrie would always order the same thing everytime we went. Without fail. To the lunch time drives to McDonalds and how you guys would always order at least two parfaits and make me the fatty across the table eating the deluxe angus burger and a Mcflurry. Or even the wrestling matches at school and how Spencer tried to actually watched the matches while me and Kambrie studied the wrestlers with our eyes. And who could forget the random trips in Kambries green van with her dupstep music blasted and our legs hanging out the windows.

So as we are away at different colleges, I promise you there will be a White Third picture hanging in my room. Because there is no way I could ever forget either of you.