"Far away from home everything is so clear when you're all alone"
Springville will always be my home. No matter where I am in this big world, I will always return to that small town.
But there are trials for all of us. My biggest trial is escaping the life I use to live. The life before Christ. Although I love everything about home, it presents a trial every time I return. Old Lexi starts to creep back, feeling the spirit is almost impossible, the claws of the adversary dig deeper into me and my anxiety is almost too much to handle.
Being away I am becoming who I've always needed to be and the spirit is a constant companion. A friend who walks me to class, a shoulder to cry on and a reminder of the life to come. Although He may be my only friend at college, He is all I need.
Being away, I am a child learning to walk for the first time. My eyes see the light of the gospel for the first time. My young heart burns the desire to learn of Him. I must learn to walk again, learn to walk in the light of the Lord. It's a path I must go on alone with Christ by my side.
Running away is not what I am doing. I am growing as a child of God. I am learning for myself. I am experiencing a world I thought I knew. I want to give Him all I have so that everything I say and do points to Him. Because with sacrifice comes great rewards.
And although those I hold dear are back home, I have to be strong and do this for Him. Because He has never left my side and even though my heart is torn, I will follow Him.
Last night as I prayed, I knew in my heart I must stay away from home for longer periods of time. No more visiting every weekend. I have to limit myself to twice or even once a month. With following my heart, I know I should have attended BYU-Idaho. It's something I'm regretting with everything I have. But I guess a detour was what I had to take.
Don't be sad, my help comes from the Lord. Please understand and be strong for me, for this is something I must do. I love you all. Everyone of you has touched my life in more ways than you can even imagine. Please remember its never a goodbye, its always a see you later.
