"..Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" - Esther 4:14.
I woke up early this morning to the familiar smell of old men, rotten food and your occasional moth ball. As I walked into the kitchen, I realized my roommates were all still asleep. It's day like this I'm grateful I don't have to share a bedroom.
After taking a quick shower, I went for a walk while eating a granola bar as I wandered around campus until I finally found the library. Fighting the ever present loneliness, I talked to my dad on the phone. He always joked about how I would miss living at home, how I would miss him. I never took him seriously until now.
It's true that you really don't realize what you have until it's gone. For the past few days, the loneliness I've felt has been so frightening. I've been incredibly lost for months now and have questioned every second of my decision to attend college.
After my walk, I went back to my room. And just sat there. Because there isn't much to do at seven in the morning. But as I sat there drowning in my self pity, that small voice they teach you about in Sunday school started to get louder after months of almost being mute.
It was then when I became so grateful that I live close to a beautiful Temple. So I got dressed in my Sunday best, grabbed my scriptures, a notepad, my keys and I was out of that dorm room. With my phone turned off, I drove the few minutes to the Temple with a cheesy smile I couldn't fight.
The parking lot was empty for the most part besides two other cars. I walked up the little hill to the Temple entrance and smiled at the few ground keepers and thanked them for their amazing job. I can't imagine how much work goes into keeping the grounds of any Temple so beautiful.
The only noise I could hear was that of the occasionally car or bird. While I walked around the outside, I couldn't help but be amazed at how beautiful it was and I still wasn't able to fight that cheesy smile.
I chose a spot on a grassy tree covered hill, closed my eyes and started to pray. Thanking Him for every blessing and every trial I've ever received. Soon every worry disappeared. And for once in almost a year, I felt completely at peace.
It wasn't long until I knew my Best Friend was sitting right beside me, holding on tightly to my hand and wiping my tears away. I had been ignoring Him throughout the trial, I had never taken the time to actually confide in Him. But as I felt guilty for not trying harder, I knew in my heart that even though I hadn't taken the time away from my self pity to look for Him, He was watching over me the entire time.
I may not have any of my best friends here, but there is one friend that is always with me no matter what. He is my Best Friend in the entire world. I love Him with all my heart. And I thank Him every day for sending me the people who guided me to Him. I am forever grateful for the gospel.
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